I was watching eat pray love at the cinema with my Rizkiansyah the other day. I wanted to watch wallstreet but Rizki insisted to watch eat pray love because he wanted to see the set which take places in Italy and Bali. the movie is really long with deep conversation and magnificent cinematography. And suddenly there's this conversation between Liz & his 2nd boyf (forgot his name) that really hits me and made me speechless. It goes like this :
"what if we just acknowledged that we have a bad relationship, and we suck it out anyway? what if we admitted that we make each other nuts, we fight constantly and hardly ever ever have sex, but we cant live without each other so we deal with it? And then we could spend our lives together, in misery, but happy to not be apart."
I'm like, wow, wrong person to watch with. I mean, that's where me and him right now, that place, the one where we fight really often, we've even already be apart but then get back together again, and now we both are trying to picking up the pieces that had already torn apart by our ego and anger. From the outside we looked okay, but there's this tiny voices inside our hearts that keep telling us that there's something wrong. I know he felt it too and i know he tried so hard to make the voices go away, I myself do the same. But we don't know how long do we have to stay like this. I miss the old us, we were so close, he's like my whole world. Now he's just like some guy i rarely met and we didn't tell each other anything anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I am trying to make this all worked (again), and i know he did it too. It is too selfish of me to asked him a lot, i admit that. I know he's working so hard to make this relationship as normal as it used to, to contacted me at least once a day, to start calling me sweet nicknames again, i know that, i saw few changes from him. And i just wish that he sees me that way too, because i wanna be better for him. I hope.
"what if we just acknowledged that we have a bad relationship, and we suck it out anyway? what if we admitted that we make each other nuts, we fight constantly and hardly ever ever have sex, but we cant live without each other so we deal with it? And then we could spend our lives together, in misery, but happy to not be apart."
I'm like, wow, wrong person to watch with. I mean, that's where me and him right now, that place, the one where we fight really often, we've even already be apart but then get back together again, and now we both are trying to picking up the pieces that had already torn apart by our ego and anger. From the outside we looked okay, but there's this tiny voices inside our hearts that keep telling us that there's something wrong. I know he felt it too and i know he tried so hard to make the voices go away, I myself do the same. But we don't know how long do we have to stay like this. I miss the old us, we were so close, he's like my whole world. Now he's just like some guy i rarely met and we didn't tell each other anything anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I am trying to make this all worked (again), and i know he did it too. It is too selfish of me to asked him a lot, i admit that. I know he's working so hard to make this relationship as normal as it used to, to contacted me at least once a day, to start calling me sweet nicknames again, i know that, i saw few changes from him. And i just wish that he sees me that way too, because i wanna be better for him. I hope.
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