8 days left

it's 8 days left before Rizkiansyah's departure, and i'm not quite sure about how i feel right now. people keep asking "you must be sad, aren't you?" and i just answered them with nod and smile. the truth is, i'm not that sad. sure i'm gonna miss him so much. but i just want him to go and finish his study quickly so that he can come back here and we'll be together again. it's not that i'm not thankful to be surrounded by people who cares about me and gave me full support and ready to catch me if i fall when rizki's gone, but to be honest what i really need is someone who's gonna slap me and yell at me for being so weak. i gotta keep it together, it's just a temporary separation and we will be together again soon. it's not a break-up, he kept saying that he did this for me, so that he could provide me with a better future if we ended up married. yes i do wanna be his wife, but i don't know if God has another plan for me. maybe there's someone out there for me and it's not rizki, i still don't know yet. there are times when i'm not even sure that i wanna continued this relationship anymore. he's great and all, but our relationship is not perfect and i see flaws here and there. everything has its plus and minus, i can't decide juts based on numbers of bad days. everytime me and my girlfriends are chatting, the topics were always about marriage. i'm not gonna lie, i am too, thinking about marriage. i'm the housewives type of girl. i wanna get married, have kids, and taking care of my family. maybe i'll have a part-time job, maybe i'll be a writer, open a food business, i dont know yet but i'm quite sure that i don't wanna work at the office, 9 to 6, 5 days a week. and everytime i imagined the future, i see rizkiansyah in it. i'm afraid that he doesn't feel the same way about it because we never had "the talk". at this point of my life is filled with uncertainty. all i'm sure of now is that i love him and he loves me, so what else matters?